Dear friends,
I wrote this song a couple of Christmases ago, and since then, each holiday season, I’ve attempted to record various arrangements of the tune (and abandoned the endeavor each time). The process of recording my own voice is painful, uncomfortable, and honestly feels like psychological torture for me. I fully am incapable of separating myself from my singing voice the way I (believe I) can with instrumental recordings. It feels too personal and too vulnerable and leaves me feeling especially uncomfortable.
And anyway, it’s not like anyone was beating my door down to post new music. It was easy to justify not putting out anything into the world because when I did release things, they largely went unnoticed.
This year has been different. The Internet has been kind to me and for the first time, it feels like there are people interested in hearing what I make.
That’s why I’m putting this song here, for you. There’s a level of comfort I have with anyone who joins the Admirers Society, and that makes me feel less afraid of posting this track. I’d love for you to either comment on this post or use the poll below to let me know how you feel about the song, whether I should release it publicly and if you’d like to hear the slower/bigger arrangement that feels a bit more like an epic Christmas carol.
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